My story started out great

And I mean really great! When we met, sparks flew. Secrets were told. Dreams were shared. He cooked me spicy food and we laughed out loud. It was obvious... we were destined to be together. Ah, the honeymoon phase!

But over time, things started to get a little rocky. We were playing from different rule books that we didn’t even know we had. We saw the annoying differences in each other. We found ourselves having the same worn-out arguments over and over, and feeling more distance. We had no idea this was actually normal!

As a professional therapist, I felt embarrassed. I believed I wasn’t supposed to be having relationship problems. I knew all about psychology and human behavior and therapeutic models and research. I had years of training, degrees and a successful private practice. But I couldn’t figure out how to change the negative patterns and stuckness in my own marriage. I was feeling increasingly discouraged and hopeless.

The moment it clicked

In 2003 I attended a specialized training in attachment. Attachment theory typically involves the connection between parents and young children. But this training focused on attachment in romantic relationships. I instinctively sensed that I was onto something important and I immediately began to research.

What I found was a therapeutic model called Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT), the product of a career's worth of research and experience by Dr. Sue Johnson. It focuses on how couples get stuck in negative cycles and the ways they can create a stronger sense of connection and security with each other, through accessing the vulnerability under the conflict. 

I began applying the model in my own relationship, and was amazed to see the patterns actually starting to shift. I felt hopeful, inspired, and eager to learn more. Over the next several years, I took two EFT therapy trainings and completed the EFT Externship in Salt Lake City. I slowly started to put the model into practice with my clients, and saw the same kind of results. Not just temporary relief - but lasting, positive changes.

Making a commitment to couples

In 2013 I made the decision to devote my entire practice to helping couples. Since that time I have completed an extensive series of trainings in EFT, and was certified by the International Center for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy in 2019. In addition to deepening my understanding of the process, these trainings involved intensive peer review and feedback of actual recordings of my sessions with clients, giving me valuable insights from other experts in my field.

My dedication to helping couples has also led me to seek out training and ongoing learning in other models of therapy for couples and individuals in recent years. I believe in the continuous integration of new scientific research and understanding as a mandate for relational work. Since 2021, I have deepened my understanding of many more experiential therapy models and made it a priority to integrate these into my work with couples. I have taken trainings in Coherence Therapy, Intimacy From the Inside Out (Internal Family Systems for Couples), (Internal Family Systems for individuals), Terry Real’s Relational Life Therapy, and The Developmental Model of Couples Therapy. I now have a breadth of both learning and experience that makes my work with couples even more impactful.

I have now successfully helped hundreds of couples experience deep healing in their relationships. I witness touching and inspiring moments and incredible transformations in real time. I am humbled and honored to have the opportunity to make a difference.

And my story doesn’t end here...

In case you are wondering about my marriage now… Like most couples, my husband and I sometimes have our - shall we say - moments. These moments are inevitable, and we really try to  allow our authenticity to come forward without avoiding conflict, so we grow through the conflict. We are whole in ourselves, responsible for representing ourselves openheartedly, and breathing life into our relationship, rather than waiting for the other to make it better. We both lean in to make ourselves known and accept our differences. It’s a work in progress, of course. But we are committed and it feels great. Even when it doesn’t feel great, we know we’re on our way somewhere good :)