My story started out great
And I mean really great! When we met, sparks flew. Secrets were told. Dreams were shared. He cooked me spicy food and we laughed out loud. It was obvious... We were destined to be together.
But over time, things started to change. We had developed deep love and commitment, but little by little, we found ourselves having the same worn-out arguments over and over, and feeling less and less close to each other.
As a professional therapist, I also felt embarrassed. I wasn’t supposed to be having relationship problems. I knew all about psychology and human behavior and therapeutic models and research. I had years of training and degrees and a successful private practice. But I couldn’t figure out how to change the negative cycles in my own marriage. I was feeling increasingly discouraged and hopeless.
The moment it clicked
Then in 2003 I attended a specialized training in attachment. Attachment theory typically involves the connection between parents and young children. But this training focused on attachment in romantic relationships. I instinctively sensed that I was onto something important and I immediately began to research.
What I found was a therapeutic model called Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT), the product of a career's worth of research and experience by Dr. Sue Johnson. It focuses on how couples get stuck in negative cycles and the ways they can create a stronger sense of connection and security with each other.
I began applying the model in my own relationship, and was amazed to see the patterns actually starting to shift. I felt hopeful, inspired, and eager to learn more. Over the next several years I took two EFT therapy trainings and completed the EFT Externship in Salt Lake City. I slowly started to put the model into practice with my clients, and saw the same kind of results. Not just temporary relief - but lasting, positive changes.
Making a commitment to couples
In 2013 I made the decision to devote my entire practice to helping couples. Since that time I have completed an extensive series of trainings in EFT. In addition to deepening my understanding of the process, these trainings involved intensive peer review and feedback of actual recordings of my sessions with clients, giving me valuable insights from other experts in my field.
I have now successfully helped hundreds of couples make sense of their negative cycles. Every day I witness touching and inspiring moments and incredible transformations in real relationships. I am humbled and honored to have the opportunity to make a difference.
And my story doesn’t end here...
In case you are wondering about my marriage now… Like most couples, my husband and I sometimes have our - shall we say - moments. But we’ve also figured out how to recognize our negative patterns and reach out to one another when times are tough. And deep down, that's what keeps us close.
Let’s just say the sparks are definitely back :-)